Day 25 {A first}

As a child I often dreamed of going to the beach. Our parents hated the beach so they would never take us there. I grew to hate going to the mountains, always the same old boring vacation. It was so predictable. I do enjoy the mountains, but not  all the time. I like to see new places and new things, new adventures.

When my husband and I were dating he wanted to take me to Mobile to meet his family. It was Thanksgiving, and I had many reasons to be thankful that year. I was thankful to have him, and to be out of a bad relationship. I was thankful to be going on my first trip to the beach.

So we got into his car and left his parents house. I may have been 20 but I was just as excited as a child. It was only a twenty minute drive from his parents house but it seemed like a long trip. I will never forget stepping out of that car and hearing the waves and the seagulls for the first time. I still remember how it felt to have the fresh ocean breeze blowing in my hair. I remember how the sand felt between my toes and fingertips. It was chilly but I didn't let that stop my enjoyment. I wrote our names in the sand.  I watched a cute little crab scurry across the beach into his hole in the sand. I enjoyed everything about that day. Dauphin Island will always be a special place to me, not only because it was my first beach experience but because of who I was with.

Since then we have made many many trips to Dauphin Island. One of my most cherished photos is a picture of my husband and our six week old baby boy under the Dauphin Island Pier. I have pictures of both our children there, the two of us, and family pictures. They are more than just pictures they are moments in time that meant the world to me. We have made several beach trips to Savannah,GA Amelia Island,FL, Gulf Shores,AL and Dauphin Island and D.I.  still remains my favorite place. My husband is amazing, and he has made so many of my dreams come true. I look forward to each and every day that I am blessed to share with him.


One of my favorite songs was written and preformed by a group born in Mobile, The Band Perry. The song is ''All your life'' and my favorite quote comes from the lyrics
''Would you walk to the edge of the ocean Just to fill my jar with sand Just in case I get the notion  To let it run through my hand ???? Let it run through my hand''
My husband did just that. My little sand jar collection sits proudly on a shelf in our living room.

Day 24 {Something that makes you cry}

There are several things that make me cry.

• I cry when my babies get hurt or when they are sad or something is wrong and I can't fix it. I feel like it is my job as a mother to fix everything for them and sometimes that just isn't possible.
• I cry when my kids make me happy. There is no better joy in this world than that a parent gets from watching their child.
• Extreme Makeover Home Edition, I mean really???? I have never watched it and not cried.
• I cry when my family and friends are hurting, I care about them. I laugh with them so I cry with them.
• Every year when we go to National Police Week in Washington,D.C. I cry when we go to the Fallen Officers Memorial and read all the notes,cards,letters,and photographs that little kids have left to their murdered parent. Its absolutely heartbreaking.
• I cry when I watch the news and hear stories about child abuse or a missing child or murdered kids. Number one reason why 99.9% of the time I choose not to watch the news. It is just depressing!
• And last but not least, sometimes I just hold all the stresses of daily life inside of me and never talk about it until one day I just cry. Sometimes it just feels good to cry and get it all out.

Day 22 {Something that upsets you}

Abortion upsets me very much. I believe that life begins with conception. I believe that if a person is old enough to think they are ''mature'' enough to have sex then they should also be prepared. Just because someone isn't ready for a baby doesn't give them the right to terminate that child. How could anyone be so cold and cruel? There are thousands of people who want to adopt a child. Why not give someone else a chance at happiness?

It also upsets me when people have kids and don't take care of them. Children deserve the best chance at life. They deserve to be treated with respect, yet be disciplined when need be. They deserve good memories. Children don't deserve to be abused or molested or murdered. I don't understand why we keep seeing all these stories on tv about parents killing their child because they think life is better without them. Don't want the child, or can't afford to care for it then give it to someone who can give them the life they deserve.

There are thousands of people who so desperately want to have a child of their own and will never get that. So the next best thing is adoption. This whole situation gets me really upset, so before I get all worked up I will leave it at that.

Day 23 {Something that makes you feel better}

Sometimes everyone has a bad day including me, and no matter what makes me upset or sad or stressed out my children can always make me happy. Their laughter brings me so much joy.

My husband always knows when something is wrong. He gives me the biggest warmest most loving hugs and then he fixes the problem. They are my life and I am so thankful and blessed to have the three of them.

Day 20 {This month}

• This month has been very hectic.
• Some things have been good, others not so good.
• Still I remember the things I have to be thankful for.
• November didn't start out so great first there was the death of my friends baby. I mourned for them and with them. I have been a little depressed because of that.
• There have been two visitors nights at the dance studio, and still another to come.
• My step daughter had her high school dance recital and it was amazing.
• My husband started training a new rookie. So I don't get those little phone calls and texts like I normally would.
• My parents came to visit as well as several of our friends.
• I had the monthly club meeting and it went well.
• I have been busy planning the club Christmas party. I'm looking forward to that next month.
• We had the babies Christmas photos made, and I even started doing a little Christmas shopping.
•  There just never seems to be enough hours in a day to get everything done.
• I am going shopping tomorrow to get everything to make Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday. This year I decided to stay home and invite friends and family over. I'm very excited!
• A plus side to this week/month is that I get to go shopping on BLACK FRIDAY  with my sister in law.
• Then on Friday we are going to have Thanksgiving dinner at a friends house.
• Saturday we are taking baby Nate to have his photos made.
• That pretty much  sums up the month of November.

Day 19 {Something you regret}

I don't regret anything. I believe mistakes in life are just lessons learned. I choose to take a bad experience and learn from it, so that later on down the road I can be better prepared for a different situation. When my children are older they can come to me for advice, and hopefully I will be able to help them with information from my own personal experiences. I know they will still make mistakes, because they are human and humans are far from perfect.

Day 18 {Your favorite birthday}

My favorite birthday is my 25th birthday. It was freezing cold that day, and really windy. Whitney and I went to the Georgia Aquarium in Atlanta. I got up early  that morning got dressed, and drove about two hours to pick up Whit. Then off to Atlanta we went. We stopped along the way to get gas, and snacks. Later on I had to pee really bad so we stopped at a gas station in Atlanta and I got creeped out because nobody was in the store. No customers, no clerk just a car outside. I think I ended up waiting until I got to the aquarium.  It was the first time I had been there. We laughed a lot that day. We were leaving Atlanta and there was a car at next to us and it had bag of chips hanging out of the door. We thought it was hilarious! On the way back home we stopped at the Olive Garden in Anniston{I think it was in Anniston?} We had a great lunch and great drinks! Then we stopped on the side of the road in Pell City, and we parked facing up a hill. We wanted pics of a pretty waterfall in the woods just off of the roadway. We got out took our pics and then when I tried to drive away the car was stuck. The ground was wet and we just had to be parked uphill. We got unstuck by backing down the hill into the road. HAHA it was hilarious. There was mud all over the sides of my Xterra. The best part of the day wasn't going out of town or eating out, it was getting to spend the day with my best friend. We have made a lot of memories over the years, and I always enjoy making new ones with her. Maybe in February we can make another day trip for my birthday :)

Day 16 {Your first kiss}

Day 15 {Your dreams}

Today's 30/30 challenge post will be short. I am sorry but it is what it is. {not like I have a bunch of readers anyways, I mainly just blog because it helps ME}

I am just going through a hard place in my life. This week has just been crappy. If it weren't for my husband and babies and Whit I would go crazy. My dreams right now are so much different than they would have been a week ago. I really don't know anymore. I just feel lost.............I hope that Sunday will bring closure. I hope that I can begin to figure out my life and what direction I need to go in next. So today my dreams are of health for my children and  all children. My dreams are to find more true friends, more friends like Whitney who know and trust me. Friends who take the time to know me from the inside out, not from the outside in.

Day 14 {What you wore today}

I really don't remember what I wore today. I do know that I wore my heart on my sleeve. I wore my emotions, constantly streaming tears down my face. A baby is supposed to be a happy time in a mother's life. Instead my friend is burying her child. She was born premature, so they never had a chance for a baby shower. A baby shower was recently put into plans, and now instead they are dealing with the task of planning a funeral.

I have been so emotional, I haven't wanted to do anything but sit around and cry. I was only a friend to the family, so I can't even imagine how they feel if I'm feeling this bad. I pray for this family to find comfort in the loss of this beautiful baby girl. My heart aches for them.

I took my children with me tonight and tried to go shopping for something to wear to her funeral, instead I tuned into the crazy crying lady on aisle six! I just can't control it, I can't stop thinking about it. It's constantly on my mind.

There are so many undeserving mothers in this world, mothers who abuse their children or even murder their children. Then there is my friend, someone who wants more than anything in this world to be a mother and it's just out of her grasp. I can't imagine loosing one child let alone three. She has an amazing strength, and I hope and pray that someday God will bless her with a healthy child. She deserves it more than anyone.

I hope it's a long weekend. I know I am not ready for Sunday, I know her family is not ready for Sunday. I hope and pray that I can find strength, to know all the right things to say to comfort them.

Today I wore ............tears.

Day 13 {This week}

• Sunday - I spent the entire day at home being lazy with my family. We watched Fast Five, and it was just as good as seeing it the first time.
• Monday - I did a ton of laundry. After my Hubby came home from work we all went to Costco. I got a bunch of stuff we needed. Afterwards the babies and I went out to eat at O'Charley's with some friends. Then we went to Target and I bought one of baby girl's Christmas gifts.
• Tuesday - I stayed at home all day procrastinating even though I had a billion things to do. I did manage to get a few things done at home though. I even caught up on blogging. 
• Wednesday -  Someone knocked at the door in the morning. I opened it to see our neighbor and her daughter. They said ''We have bad news'' I stood there looking at them in shock and said ''What's wrong?'' They didn't say anything they just stared at me. I realized exactly what was wrong. I said ''NO!!'' and they both started crying,I started crying. Their two month old baby girl ''Amaya Faith'' had passed away. She was doing so well,they were even saying she would be home at the end of the month. This was a shock to everyone. Her mom had went for her nightly visit, she changed her diaper and it had blood in it. She got the nurse right away, the nurse took the baby to the doctor on call. He immediately sent her for x-rays. It showed that she had air in her belly. At midnight they took her in for emergency surgery. She had a hole in her intestines due to a bacterial infection. Normally they would be able to repair it. Hers was so bad that there was nothing they could do. They took her off of her machines, and let her family hold her until she passed. She left this world at 4:53 am November 9th, 2011.  This family has become more than just friends, they have become like family to us. The rest of my plans have been cancelled for the week. I can't believe I will be attending a funeral for a two month old baby girl. I never in my life thought this would ever happen. It's heartbreaking. I know that God has a plan for everyone, sometimes it's just hard to understand that plan. This is the third baby they have lost, it just doesn't seem fair. I don't question his plan, I just wish I could understand a little better.
• On a lighter note it was Visitor's Day at ASD. Which meant that I got to take my little girl to her dance class and stay and watch everything she  has been learning. It was nice to be able to go, it was the only time yesterday that I wasn't constantly thinking of the baby. I am so proud of my baby girl. I was reminded yesterday of just how precious life is, and I held my kids even closer.
• Thursday - 
• Friday -
• Saturday -

Day 11 {Your Children}

My children are my life.......my world. They are my inspiration. The source of all my happiness and at the same time the source of insanity. Most of everyone already knows everything about my babies. So I will write about their births.

 I was a very happy pregnant woman. I dislike hearing pregnant women complain ALL the time. I was so in tune with my son when I was pregnant that I actually  had dreams about him before he was even born, even before I found out that he would be a boy. Some of those dreams were exact right down to every detail. I don't know how that happened either, maybe hormones. I also had nightmares when I was pregnant with him.

There is no deeper connection in this world than that of a mother and her child, especially  while she is pregnant.  I dreamed once about my son's birth, before we knew he was a boy. I dreamed that he wasn't breathing when he was born. When the time really came for me to have him, by dream became a reality. He wasn't breathing. I was panicking.

I couldn't even imagine loosing him. The doctor worked on stitching me up and I was trying my hardest to get my half numb body off of the table to get to my brand new baby boy. The doctor told the two nurses that were already in the room to get the NICU nurses. Within seconds the door flew open and there was a combination of ten nurses and doctors trying their best to get  my angel to breathe. I didn't even get to hold him, he was taken to the NICU. He was only tree weeks early, so I never imagined it would turn out that way.

They took me upstairs to my room and I started throwing up and having the worst chills and I was itching from head to to clawing at my skin. They gave me a shot and it knocked me out. Three hours later I woke up in pain, and the nurse come in to take care of me. She asked if I wanted to see my baby. So more than three hours after he was born. I was able to hold him for the first time. It was so much better than I ever imagined it could be he was perfect.


About two months later I found out we would be having our second child. It was unexpected but more than welcomed. I was at work one night and felt like my pants were wet. I looked and it was blood. I immediately went to the hospital. This happened several times with no explanation. My doctor told me it was time to stop working and just stay at home. I had no problem with that. I hardly ever felt my baby move, which concerned me all the time. With my son he moved all the time, and I could always feel it. She always checked out fine at the doctors office though. She came two weeks early.

It was shift change when we arrived at the hospital, which meant I didn't get seen right away. I had to wait in the waiting room. By the time I got to see my doctor I was at 8cm, and still had nothing for the pain.My Dr suggested an epidural, so I agreed. She came back an hour later and it was time to start. She however had to leave to do an emergency Cesarean on twins.

So there I was with my husband and the nurse. I pushed for over two hours. When the doctor came back she said this baby hasn't even moved. I then laid down and just gave up. I told my husband I was tired, and I couldn't do it anymore. I was physically exhausted. The doctor said I needed a Cesarean, so off we went to the OR.

Turns out our little princess was well over 8lbs and that's the reason she had gotten stuck inside my pelvis. She has been mischievous ever since! I actually would prefer  a Cesarean rather than the natural way any day. It was so much easier, I was back to normal the next day.

I love my babies with everything I have. I have been blessed beyond anything I ever imagined. It's bittersweet watching them grow up. I love watching them grow and learn and achieve new things, but at the same time it makes me sad. It goes by all too fast. I try to take lots of photos so we never forget anything. I keep up with the little moments by writting them down and making scrapbooks. There is nowhere in this world that I would rather be than right here with my family.

Day 10 {What you wore today}

Not even going to pretend I wore something nice today. Today I would normally have a hundred things to do but not today. I'm going to enjoy this day being lazy and playing with my kiddos. I'm wearing one of my hubby's shirts and  a pair of cozy pants from Victoria's Secret. They are soft and warm, and comfortable! Can't go wrong with comfort! Going to spend the whole day inside with my kiddos. I have a little cleaning to do but after that, I think the kiddos are in for one awesome tickle monster battle!

Day 8 {A moment}

When Is 20 years old I was engaged to someone who was wrong for me in every way imaginable. I came to realize it wasn't going to work, but I felt so trapped. I felt like my only option at the time was to stay in that relationship. I began working at a restaurant in Madison Square Mall. It was called Mozzarella's American Cafe. I absolutely loved working there, it was fun, the food was great, and I began to feel free for the first time in a long time. I made friends there that I will remain lifelong friends. My friends would ask me to go out with them after work, I would always say no because I knew if I did I would have to deal with fiance jackass.

After working there for about a month a co-worker Jessi and I had worked the lunch shift. Afterwards we walked around the mall and ate lunch in the food court. We had decided to go to Claire's, we were walking up to a corner in the mall. It was then that a police officer walked around the corner. I looked directly at him and gave him the biggest smile possible. I grabbed Jessi by her arm and said oh my gosh Jessi, look at the size of his arms! At that very moment I said ''that man is going to be my husband someday''.

Jessi was quick to tell me how crazy that sounded. I knew how it sounded. I knew nothing about him, other than he was a police officer. Jessi and I continued on to Claire's and we bought several pairs of earrings. All the girls at work were into earrings. We would wear a different pair every day and we would all compare them lol!

Once Jessi and I made our purchase we headed back to the restaurant, because it was almost time for us to start our dinner shift. We walked in the door, and there he was. He was sitting at a table with another police officer named Vince. I smiled at him again as I walked by him on my way to the office. Apparently he had recognized my uniform, and went to the restaurant and was there waiting for me.

I clocked back in and went to check which section I would be working in for the night. He motioned for me to come over to his table. He asked me what my name was so that next time they were there they could ask to be sat in my section. I told him that I was waiting to turn 21 so that I could apply to become a police officer. He was fully supportive of that idea.

He and several other officers work the security detail at the mall on the weekends. So for several weeks on Friday nights they would come in and ask to be sat in my section. Finally two months later he asked me if I would like to have dinner with him.

That night I met him after I got off work. I sat in his police car talking with him. Another police officer came up and was talking with us, his was Officer Daniel Golden. {Three days later Officer Golden was shot and killed responding to a domestic call.} So after work we had dinner together for the very first time at T.G.I. Fridays. It was Friday August 26th, 2005.

I don't believe it was love at first sight, because I didn't love him right away. Deep down inside, somehow some part of me knew that he would be my husband. Eventually I turned 21 and he helped me get a new car for my birthday. I moved in with him and later on applied with two different police departments, and was accepted by both of them. I graduated from the APD reserve program, and was accepted by both APD and HPD to go into the police academy. I  learned that I was pregnant a week before I was to start. Needless to say I didn't go.

He was my knight in shining armor, only he came in a uniform and shiny badge. He rescued me from a bad relationship. He changed my life in the best way possible. Later on we  got married and now we have two babies. So here we are six years later, married with two children. I'm so thankful for having him in my life. They are my world. Sadly the restaurant has closed. I plan on finding one and us going there for my next birthday, I think it would be fun to go try old familiar flavors.

Day 6 {Your day}

I had a fabulous day today. This morning our neighbor invited us to go for a walk. I had tons to do and Shelby was still in bed, so lil man went with them. I finished cleaning up the dishes from last night, and vacuumed the house. My husband had a class so after it was over he came home for lunch.

My parents arrived about five minutes after he left to go back to work. Our neighbor came over to meet my parents, they brought a gift for her baby girl who is in the NICU. After our visit we went to Kroger's to  buy the ingredients to make homemade chili, because that's what my husband wanted for dinner.

My Daddy helped me by opening all of the canned items while I chopped up the onions,garlic,and peppers. My mom helped stir the meat until it was browned. {I always cook the meat and then drain the fat, so that its a little healthier as opposed to just putting the raw meant and everything else in all at once} Shortly after that my husband arrived home, we all ate. Then I started getting our little ballerina ready for her dance class. She looked ever so cute. Then my parents left because they were going to stop by my aunt's house on the way home.

I dropped her off at ASD, then went to get gas. I went home after that until it was time to go pick her up. After I picked her up we went to the mall to find a hairbow to match her beautiful Straussburg dress that Mrs.Kathy bought for her back in the summer. I wasn't able to find matching ribbon or I would have made my own bow. I couldn't have found a better bow  than the one I found at Hair Holiday in the mall. I'm ever so excited about having their Christmas photos made tomorrow. My friend bought us the gift certificate to have their photos made. Plus our friend Kathy had bought both of them an outfit back in the summer, so it's only costing me the price of the bow $3.99! I can't wait!

When we were at the hairbow store there was a lady in there who noticed my call my daughter Shelby. She looked at me and said that her granddaughter was also named Shelby. She said that she didn't know of another Shelby. She also said that her granddaughter lives overseas because her father is in the military.  I think it is a rare name. I told her that my Shelby was named after Carroll Shelby. Carroll is the owner of Shelby Customs in Las Vegas. He  also created the Shelby  Mustang, the Shelby Cobra, and Terlingua Racing.  She said her granddaughter is also named after Carroll Shelby. I think its awesome!

Carroll Shelby

Mr. Shelby

My daughter was also named after Lauren Conrad. You may know her from Laguna Beach. She is better known for the hit series called ''The Hills'' I absolutely love the show! I own almost all of the season's on DVD, and her books. Lauren is classy, sophisticated, beautiful, intelligent, she's a great clothing designer among many other things. So now you know the story of how Shelby Lauren got her name.

Lauren Conrad

Then we went to Wal-Mart to get popcorn seeds. Baby girl and I arrived home, and we made popcorn. I fixed myself a margarita. We all enjoyed the popcorn together while watching X-Factor, which is still on. Gotta love that show!



Overall I have had a fabulous day, with my family. I'm thankful for this day. November is the month for giving thanks, so I thank God and my family for such a lovely day. Even the weather was nice!

thirty days

Here is my newest task, thirty blogs in thirty days. This will let people know a little more about me. It will also make me take a look into the past, a look at my fears, my dreams and everything in between. It looks like a fun idea, and I hope that you guys will join me and participate in 30 blogs in 30 days as well. Below is the list of the daily topics.




Day 1 {Introduce}
Day 2 {Your first love}
Day 3 {Your parents}
Day 4 {What you ate today}
Day 5 {Your definition of love day}
Day 6 {Your day}
Day 7 {Your best friend}
Day 8 {A moment}
Day 9 {Your beliefs}
Day 10 {What you wore today}
Day 11 {Your Children}
Day 12 {What's in your bag}
Day 13 {This week}
Day 14 {What you wore today}
Day 15 {Your dreams}
Day 16 {Your first kiss}
Day 17 {Your favorite memory}
Day 18 {Your favorite birthday}
Day 19 {Something you regret}
Day 20 {This month}
Day 21 {Another moment}
Day 22 {Something that upsets you}
Day 23 {Something that makes you feel better}
Day 24 {Something that makes you cry}
Day 25 {A first}
Day 26 {Your fears}
Day 27 {Your favorite place}
Day 28 {Something that you miss}
Day 29 {Your aspirations}
Day 30 {One last moment}