Rest in Peace

Christmas just didn't feel the same due to the unexpected loss of my Uncle Paul.

December 23rd my Aunt Clara found him in the living room. While in his favorite chair watching tv he passed away due to a massive heart attack.

He was an 89 year old veteran. My Aunt and Uncle were married for over 65 years and together even longer. I cant even imagine how hard it is for her.

Christmas was on Sunday and I just didn't feel it this year. My husband had to work and came home for lunch to watch the kids open gifts. Overall we celebrated at 9 different places, which means the kids got way too much stuff.

On Monday my husband had to work. The kids and I traveled to my parents house. My mom kept them while my father and I went to Uncle Paul's funeral.

We arrived at the funeral home and our Cousin John was in the parking lot so we all went in together.

Uncle Paul's flowers were so beautiful! There were red roses, carnations, and mums all mixed together with evergreen branches. He looked so at peace. I cried a little. I was so happy to see my Aunt Clara despite the circumstances.

They both mean so much to me. As a child they would write me letters & send me gifts. I have a journal, letter opener, sterling silver and turquoise butterfly necklace, a ceramic jar from New Mexico. A framed drawing of a log cabin by Aunt Clara. (she paints, & draws extremely well and is a published author) All of these things are special to me because of who game them to me. I cherish the letters.

His burial was after the service. It wasn't far from the funeral home. He was buried at the cemetery of the church they attended. I took a photo of my Daddy and Aunt Clara afterwards. Then took a single red rose from his flowers. I dried it out to keep.

After that I took my Daddy to eat at Cracker Barrel in Gadsden. I very much enjoyed having lunch with him. It's not often that I get to do so.

January 4th 2012

We will never forget

The alarm goes off, the tears begin to flow uncontrollably. I hit the snooze button.

That is how my day started.

After hitting the snooze button more than a dozen times I dragged myself out of the bed. Not because I was still sleepy but because I feared the unknown. My husband and I got up, showered, dressed and off to the funeral home we went. Walking in the door, I recognized so many familiar faces. Some I have known for a while, others whom I have only come to know and love in the past few days.

I took a deep breath and walked into the room, there sat the family. I hugged all of them and told them how sorry I was and that I love them. It was then I looked to the far end of the room. There laid this beautiful tiny baby girl, surrounded by beautiful pink blankets and flowers.

I cried and cried and even cried after I thought I had no tears left.

Her coffin wasn't much bigger than a shoe box. It was the saddest thing I may have ever seen.

We went and sat in another room. Later on my friend's sister came and sat down beside me. I put my arm around her. I had no words. I don't even know what to say to them anymore. I know ''I'm sorry for your loss'' just doesn't get it. I honestly didn't know what to say to her. She sat there, and I could see her whole body trembling. I feel like I failed her today, not even being able to speak. Searching for words and nothing coming out. I was speechless.

Her graveside service was beautiful. Each family member was given a pink balloon, and they all released them at the same time. The wind quickly took them away. Afterwards everyone was asked to join the family for a meal at Ryan's. So we all headed over there. I'm happy that I was able to be there for my friends during their time of sorrow. If I have learned one thing from this sweet baby passing away, its the fact that she brought two families together. She made friendships grow closer, stronger. She has created a bond between strangers. There is no greater love than that of a child. She was loved and in return she gave everyone who knew her love and friendships that will last a lifetime. I am so blessed to know this family, and to have had the chance to meet this baby and be a part of her life.

Day 14 {What you wore today}

I really don't remember what I wore today. I do know that I wore my heart on my sleeve. I wore my emotions, constantly streaming tears down my face. A baby is supposed to be a happy time in a mother's life. Instead my friend is burying her child. She was born premature, so they never had a chance for a baby shower. A baby shower was recently put into plans, and now instead they are dealing with the task of planning a funeral.

I have been so emotional, I haven't wanted to do anything but sit around and cry. I was only a friend to the family, so I can't even imagine how they feel if I'm feeling this bad. I pray for this family to find comfort in the loss of this beautiful baby girl. My heart aches for them.

I took my children with me tonight and tried to go shopping for something to wear to her funeral, instead I tuned into the crazy crying lady on aisle six! I just can't control it, I can't stop thinking about it. It's constantly on my mind.

There are so many undeserving mothers in this world, mothers who abuse their children or even murder their children. Then there is my friend, someone who wants more than anything in this world to be a mother and it's just out of her grasp. I can't imagine loosing one child let alone three. She has an amazing strength, and I hope and pray that someday God will bless her with a healthy child. She deserves it more than anyone.

I hope it's a long weekend. I know I am not ready for Sunday, I know her family is not ready for Sunday. I hope and pray that I can find strength, to know all the right things to say to comfort them.

Today I wore ............tears.

Gone but not forgotten

I haven't been on here in a few weeks. I'm sure I have missed a lot of good posts. There are also a lot of things I wanted to blog about, but unfortunately didn't get to. So lets play catch up ...................

It has been a year since the murder of my friend Stephen Harlow Williams. I was able to go to his viewing, but not the funeral because I was going out of town. I still haven't made it to see his grave yet, although I would like to. I really don't even know where it is. I've heard that the trial is supposed to start soon. Other than that I know nothing. He was a beautiful person inside and out. I still have the messages saved that he sent to me. The messages contain nothing important, its just nice to have them. I miss his beautiful eyes, and hearing his voice. I still pray for his family. I know this past year has been more than a challenge for them. I still think of him often. I can hear any song by Taylor Swift and instantly think of him. Especially her song ''Hey Stephen'' which is a great song. His favorite number was 13, I think it is odd that he passed away on October 13th.

Stephen Harlow Williams March 20,1986 ~ October 13, 2010

                                                                                                                    
It has been three years since Brandon Allen Koch was killed in a car accident. He was on his way to work when it happened. We weren't close friends but he was still a friend. He had the cutest dimples, and he could always make me laugh.  We have lost so many of our friends who all went to the same school. When I think about how many have actually passed away it is a scary number. I don't always understand why these things happen, but I do know it is part of God's plan.

                                                           TheBand Perry ''If I die young''

we shall never forget

Ten years, so much can change in ten years. Some things can change in the blink of an eye. Where have the past ten years gone? It doesn't seem as if it has been ten years.

Ten years ago today I was a high school student. I was sitting in Mrs.Cox's English class. A class I loved very much. I remember someone coming to the door and saying turn the TV on because a plane had crashed into one of the towers of The World Trade Center. Mrs.Cox quickly turned the TV on.

We watched the breaking news for several minutes. I'm not sure exactly how much time had passed, then suddenly we watched on live TV as the second plane crashed into the second tower. I still get chills when I think back on that day and remember the gasps from my fellow classmates. Some cried, some prayed, some sat in silence. I cried. I prayed. To this day it gives me chills.

Soon it was made aware that it was terrorist attacks. Our school was placed on lock down. We sat there and watched as people jumped from the tower's to their death, as they tried so desperately to escape. I remember watching as the first tower fell, then the second. I remember seeing the thousands of people running through the streets, and the fear on their faces. I remember seeing people walking through the street covered in ash and debris. It was like a scene from a movie. It felt so unreal. We heard of the plane crashing into The Pentagon, and the one in the Pennsylvania field.

The next day at school Mrs.Cox asked us to write an essay about the attack. She said that she would choose a few of them to be sent in to be published in the local news paper. I picked up the pen and the words just flew out onto the paper. I had never felt so powerful about writing before. I turned it in when it was due. I was chosen to have it printed in the paper. I still have my original copy, and Mrs.Cox's note & my grade that she wrote at the top of the page. I will post it when I am able to find it. It's somewhere in my closet.  Mrs.Cox has since passed away. She was an outstanding teacher. I will always remember sitting in her class that day. I wish the best for her son.

I will forever remember that day. I will remember how I was afraid. I will remember the images burned into my brain as I watched them on the news. I will remember it as the day America changed. I will remember how America came together as a family in the following weeks, months, even years.

It's a day America will never forget, a day the world will never forget. Our country was changed that September day. Thousands lost their lives that day. Including 343 firefighters and 72 police officers. I pray for their families on this day. I pray that they have found peace with their love one's deaths. I pray for the very best for all of the survivor's and their families. May all the victim's rest in peace. GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Visit the memorial page, to plan a visit or make a donation.  http://www.911memorial.org/

April's Fury

April 27th, 2011 ~ My husband was at work, my children and I were at home. We live in an upstairs apartment, so I had a bag ready for them in case we had to leave. My daughter who was 2 at the time, said she needed her bible & wouldn't let go of it. At one point my husband called me and said that a tornado was on the ground & for us to get downstairs to the laundry room where we would be safe. I went and looked out the kitchen window and watched as the tornado headed northeast. Probably a stupid thing to do,but I didn't feel like we were in danger since it was traveling in the opposite direction. The power went out & my husband was held over after his shift was over. He came home from work almost 7 hours late. The babies went from room to room trying to make the t.v.'s and the lights work. They kept telling me to fix it, not understanding that it was something that was completely out of my control. They also didn't understand the whole candle thing & kept blowing them out. The whole house felt hot and sticky. The next morning I packed a bag to go stay with my brother and his family. There was no way I could stay at home for days with two toddlers, and no power. I ended up staying there for five days before my husband called to tell me that we had power again. During the almost two hour drive to my brothers house all I could see was tornado damage, literally in every town I drove through. I was low on gas, and due to the power being out couldn't find an open gas station. I ended up parked on the side of the road in Snead waiting for my brother to bring gas for me and the babies. During my stay with my brother's family, I went to Shoal Creek to see the damage there. It was like a war zone. My sister-in-law and I bought items to donate to the victims, and went there and passed them out. Sunday I went to church with them, and sat there crying after all I had seen in the pat few days with full gratitude that all of my family was safe. My husband was put on 12 hour shifts, with no regular lunch hour, and off days were taken away. Its the longest time I have ever been away from my husband in the entire time that I have known him. Once I was back home, I realized that the food in the freezer and fridge was spoiled. Rotten meat,eggs,etc. is something I never want to clean up again. The blood from the meat in the freezer, ran all the way down inside the fridge. It smelled dreadful, and took a good month to get rid of the smell! I felt like I needed to do something more. I cleaned out all of our old clothes to donate, and took them to the donation center. I helped volunteer with the fire department, helping to clean up debris. I cried because seeing it in person is nothing like seeing it on the news. So this made me realize something.... why do most of us wait until a tragedy happens to try and do a good deed? Why do we all not volunteer more often? Why don't we donate to the needy more? I have made it a point in my life to be a better person all the time,not just sometimes. Donate blood, donate food to the food bank. Donate old clothes, or anything no longer wanted to a charity. You never know who you are helping, or how much of an impact it makes on their lives.

Arab,AL

                                     the line to get gas was over 2 miles long

                                          Shoal Creek

                                             Shoal Creek

                               items that my sister-in-law & I bought to donate to the storm victims

                                                  God Bless America!!!!

  Harvest,AL I took this photo while helping the fire department during storm clean up.

 This family was definitely grateful to be alive! This sign brought tears to my eyes!{Harvest,AL}