I was a very happy pregnant woman. I dislike hearing pregnant women complain ALL the time. I was so in tune with my son when I was pregnant that I actually had dreams about him before he was even born, even before I found out that he would be a boy. Some of those dreams were exact right down to every detail. I don't know how that happened either, maybe hormones. I also had nightmares when I was pregnant with him.
There is no deeper connection in this world than that of a mother and her child, especially while she is pregnant. I dreamed once about my son's birth, before we knew he was a boy. I dreamed that he wasn't breathing when he was born. When the time really came for me to have him, by dream became a reality. He wasn't breathing. I was panicking.
I couldn't even imagine loosing him. The doctor worked on stitching me up and I was trying my hardest to get my half numb body off of the table to get to my brand new baby boy. The doctor told the two nurses that were already in the room to get the NICU nurses. Within seconds the door flew open and there was a combination of ten nurses and doctors trying their best to get my angel to breathe. I didn't even get to hold him, he was taken to the NICU. He was only tree weeks early, so I never imagined it would turn out that way.
They took me upstairs to my room and I started throwing up and having the worst chills and I was itching from head to to clawing at my skin. They gave me a shot and it knocked me out. Three hours later I woke up in pain, and the nurse come in to take care of me. She asked if I wanted to see my baby. So more than three hours after he was born. I was able to hold him for the first time. It was so much better than I ever imagined it could be he was perfect.
About two months later I found out we would be having our second child. It was unexpected but more than welcomed. I was at work one night and felt like my pants were wet. I looked and it was blood. I immediately went to the hospital. This happened several times with no explanation. My doctor told me it was time to stop working and just stay at home. I had no problem with that. I hardly ever felt my baby move, which concerned me all the time. With my son he moved all the time, and I could always feel it. She always checked out fine at the doctors office though. She came two weeks early.
It was shift change when we arrived at the hospital, which meant I didn't get seen right away. I had to wait in the waiting room. By the time I got to see my doctor I was at 8cm, and still had nothing for the pain.My Dr suggested an epidural, so I agreed. She came back an hour later and it was time to start. She however had to leave to do an emergency Cesarean on twins.
So there I was with my husband and the nurse. I pushed for over two hours. When the doctor came back she said this baby hasn't even moved. I then laid down and just gave up. I told my husband I was tired, and I couldn't do it anymore. I was physically exhausted. The doctor said I needed a Cesarean, so off we went to the OR.
Turns out our little princess was well over 8lbs and that's the reason she had gotten stuck inside my pelvis. She has been mischievous ever since! I actually would prefer a Cesarean rather than the natural way any day. It was so much easier, I was back to normal the next day.
I love my babies with everything I have. I have been blessed beyond anything I ever imagined. It's bittersweet watching them grow up. I love watching them grow and learn and achieve new things, but at the same time it makes me sad. It goes by all too fast. I try to take lots of photos so we never forget anything. I keep up with the little moments by writting them down and making scrapbooks. There is nowhere in this world that I would rather be than right here with my family.
You're such a good Mama! :)
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